“Yellowjackets” tells the narrative of a team of wildly talented high-school girls soccer players who survive a plane crash deep in the Ontario wilderness. The series chronicles their descent from a complicated but thriving team to warring, cannibalistic clans, while also tracking the lives they have attempted to piece back together.

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Three episodes in and it feels like I am watching Pretty Little Liars, the Plane Crash Survivor Edition, produced by Shonda Rhimes and directed by Tyler Perry – it is entertaining, creepy, and somewhat mysterious, but the setup of the conflict so obvious, the writing very superficial and the characters one dimensional.

Why is the setup obvious? You have the mean girls bullying Misty, the geek, back in school, but when the plane crashes she ends up saving their lives because she knows CPR/survival skills. Oh no. (Misty finding the transponder and disactivating it because she is appreciated in the jungle is lazy writing.)

Another girl who is left in the plane that is about to explode, manages to get out and now hates the two girls who left her behind. Oh no.

There is the best friend sleeping with the best friend’s boyfriend. There is the girl with a limited supply of psych meds. There is the fanatical Christian (who undoubtedly will be eaten first judging from how limited the character is). Then there is one surviving hunky, yet brooding boy that they all perve over. Eye roll.

What drew me to the series was the terrific cast – Melanie Lynskey, Juliette Lewis, and Christina Ricci. Pity the characters they play are so flat. As mentioned before, I am three episodes in, and I still don’t know much about them. One is a bored housewife with a dark side, the other is a recovering junky with a dark side. Then you have Misty, the nurse, with an oh so obvious dark side. (Her patient throwing her meds and Misty threatening her is some more lazy writing.) Melanie, Juliette, and Christina, are respectively giving it all the mousiness, swagger, and creepiness they can muster, but it is not enough.

Having a very popular show with a female-led cast is cool on the one hand, but the stereotypical portrayal of women and our relationships is not so cool. You are either looking at a high school cat fight, or two besties having a hug fest. The two girls eyeing each other is a nice touch, but I don’t see it blowing me away.

I could have forgiven all the above and clocked a few more episodes, but the lack of subtlety, bordering on being beaten to a pulp with the schmaltz stick, is making me ill. Did the braai scene have to contain 25 shots of human flesh being roasted and eaten? No, it didn’t.